WHAT IN THE F*CK IS A CHILDS MIND?

'WHAT IN THE FUCK IS A CHILDS MIND?' is what I wrote on the back of my sketch book at the humble age of 16, probably after ripping a pretty small cone in the cupboard of my childhood bedroom where I self proclaimed was a headquarters for my clothing brand that was gonna take off and make us all rich!

Photo by Matt Robertson 2017

The reality was I was only 16, freshly kicked out of school and the only thing I had going for me was this dream. I spent every dollar I had on screen-printing T-shirts with what I can only call a pretty sloppy logo. It never mattered about the logo, or about the name or what people perceived it as for that matter. At the time, it was the only thing keeping my head screwed on in the middle of pure teenage knuckle headed madness. To my younger self, a sunset in the city with a skateboard under my feet, my best mates by my side, a CHILDS MIND shirt around my neck and a fat doobie between my fingers was nothing short of a premature heaven.

Photos by Brayden Stairmand 2017 - 2018

I was never the best skateboarder but I fucking love the nature and expression of it. It's art, it's style, it's thinking you've got it figured out til' you're clashing the concrete in pain with a smile on your face or at least a tough smirk while you hurt inside around others. Either that or you're cracking the shits while you pick up your board only to run back and try it again. Truth is, I'm in no place to really brag about it. I just loved rolling around with my mates and of course, my camera which is where I fell into filming. I filmed everyone and everything with a Sony handycam VHS camera and made a video called 'JUICE'. Looking back on this video 5 years later, I realise I captured something special and it's this special feeling I continue to chase with my work to this day. Skateboarding with friends, chasing dreams and working on fun projects. That was the fuel, that was CHILDS MIND.

‘JUICE’ 2018

I was in Sydney, crossing darling harbour on a ferry from Manly to Circular Quay when I read a sign above the doorway reading 'MIND YOUR HEAD' and impulsively, I snapped a photo on my point and shoot camera. I think the words clicked in my head and I quickly integrated them into the brand and used it as some kinda catch phrase. Mind your head? Obviously it was there so people didn't smack their fucking skulls on the roof but I defined it differently upon stumbling on the photo a few months later. To me it meant: Be mindful of your head, of your mind, of your ideas, of yourself. Pay attention to your ideas and your curiosity, they can lead to something great. I mean everything starts with an idea right? Google, toasters and well, I guess whatever the fuck you're reading this on. Even this blog in itself was an idea I had a few years ago but I'm just now writing my thoughts down. Essentially all I'm saying is that everyone is unique, everyone has a different outlook on life and are formed by their past experiences. Everyone has something unique to bring to the table so I'd encourage everyone to act on their ideas and bring them to the world. Only you can do what you can do. The aim is to inspire.

When I was 15 years old I thought to myself 'If you drew your ideas as a kid and put them somewhere safe, only to find them when you're older and decided to invest in them and make them a reality. What would that be called?' I wrote CHILDS MIND in my book and ran with it. Note: I use capital letters most days cause ‘child’s mind’ doesn’t look too darling, I’d drop the apostrophe too. I didn’t know it at the time but that was the start of all this madness. A few months after writing it down, I went and stayed in New Zealand with my Dad and extended family. I spent 2 weeks in an old bedroom with a view of Porirua near Wellington. I bought an empty book with me and with my boredom and extensive experimentation of new music blasting through my headphones, I drew every single idea that I had down. Clothing designs, video ideas, magazine articles and the pages filled up. I didn't know it yet but I found my calling on that trip, I found my mission and spent the next 5 years trying my best to make it a reality. I learned how to screen print and embroider my own clothing, I documented every moment that I was doing anything interesting and I continued growing and building on my ideas. I had one goal and that was to make CHILDS MIND known to anyone who was even slightly similar to myself. I chased every opportunity and made it my mission to be as different as I could to any other brand and for better or for worse, that worked out. I was selling clothes, doing pop up stalls at local events, meeting so many interesting people and working with creatives from all over the world. This dream of mine turned into something a lot bigger than I had anticipated, it turned into community. Although it was my dream initially, it was every single individual backing it that made it what it was and although the numbers were never huge, the local community backed it and I got to experience so much through helping run it.

'CM Dream Book' By Brayden Stairmand 2017 - 2018

My friends helped me largely with this dream. I crossed paths and befriended mostly, if not all of them in high school. Matt was the main photographer of nearly every campaign we did and was overall a lovely and mischievous character to be around. Tyren was always there to talk life, cameras, music and everything in between and played a key roll and filming/ taking photos for all our projects. Redd was another ambitious dream-ridden friend who loved a hill bomb and shared an equal love for everything creative as I did. Jack who was always keen to model and share inspiration on a range of subjects and overall, back every one of my ambitious moves. And of course, there was always the group of lads who I'd hop on a train with most weekends to skate and tear up wherever we hoped off. Credit is due for many others but I'd end up writing a novel. We'd go out with our cameras on day trips and take photos of anything that excited us. Abandoned buildings, city streets, skateboarding, each other and anything in between. We were exploring the small world around us and it was magic. Friends, friends, friends, I just love em' no matter where we all are with our lives these days. Not only do I love em' but I was also largely fascinated and inspired by them and these early moments were a first look at what it was like to be around like minded people. I think this made a huge impact on me and after a few years working on this amateur (yet ambitious) brand, I realised that you can't do everything yourself and that a lot of ideas are better built with other people. Collaboration was interesting and became a big deal for me and I wanted to turn this inspiration into a bigger goal. To work with artists and creative people. Collaborating, experimenting and working together towards an end result we were all proud of.

Photo by Tyren Heath 2019

As these things do, it took its toll. I found myself overwhelmed, trying to build and legitimise a company without any professional knowledge. I'd spend months saving all my money as a commercial screen printer and embroiderer doing work for other companies and then I'd go and spend every last dollar on my ideas which was always exciting but also risky given that I always did everything on gut instinct regardless of if things would sell or not. The 9 to 5 definitely wore me down and I didn't have the energy to continue building the brand on the side. I was working on my craft of clothing customisation for other people until the point of boredom. I became stale, I lost my energy and drive. Eventually falling into a confused place for a while. What does someone do when everything they've ever known and worked hard for all of a sudden becomes stagnant? I asked myself that same question for months on end never really came to an answer. Eventually, my curiosity led me to an eagerness to try new things. I picked up a guitar and started learning music, picked up my pen and paper and started writing thoughts, I even got handy and built a coffee table from scratch. Eventually quitting my job, I bought a ticket to London to meet my lover and travelled Europe for 3 months, taking photos and soaking inspiration like a sponge (A story I'll save for another time!).

Photo by Molly Flannery 2023

As time has gone on, the brand has had many makeovers and dived into a variety of sub cultures. I realised (especially after my time away from the brand) that it can never be placed into one box and rather than trying to target a certain audience, I aim to expand by working with creative people from various communities. And as someone with a passion for creativity and community, I’d love to use my platform to promote, represent and introduce local artists and creatives to like minded people who want to connect and be inspired. Eventually building a network bigger than just a brand. A logo on a shirt is one thing but my goal is to create something more special and meaningful. So without going into too much - I’m currently working on a transformative project aimed to connect and build creative community through a range of diverse interviews. And also, start this blog as a way to share my thoughts on subjects and connect better with my followers. In the meantime, I aim to continue working on clothing and content as it’s my passion and my dream!

I guess to even try to explain my absence for the last 2 years would take me down a pretty crazy and personal path. My life and my dreams are two seperate things and I needed the time away to find that balance again. All that aside, I'm back now. Ready to explore new formats, experiences and projects. I could tell you hundreds of ideas or plans for what I want this to be but really, time will continue to tell. I'm for the creatives, I'm for the artists and I'm for anyone who wants to express their ideas. The clothing will come and so will everything else in due time. And though I'm not the same person I was when I started all this, the dream still remains somewhat the same. So to answer the question of what 'CHILDS MIND' is, I guess I'm still figuring that out. In the meantime, I'll keep ticking off the ideas I've written down in my notebooks over the years and I'll leave it up to you to put a label on it.

Photo by Molly Flannery 2024

But hey! Sometimes it's fun not knowing what you're doing. This is my first blog post and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I love that.